I Won't Say I'm in Love
by dares to dream
Summary: Song-Fic. Olivia tries to sort out her feelings. E/O.


**This is both my first song-fic, and my first venture into the SVU realm. I absolutely love the show, and just recently seem to be obsessed with Zebras (the animal, for obvious reasons). And well, this song was stuck in my head during my exam today and I realized it fit wonderfully with Olivia's character. (At least I think so).**

**Tell me what you guys think, please!**

**(And if any of you have read my other stories...please don't kill me. I have writers block, okay! Minus this story, it has been bad.)  
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**((DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters from SVU. Those are owned by Dick Wolf. I also do not own the song from _Hercules_. If I owned _Hercules_, I would be changing the entire plot so that all of the Mythology was correct and not so completely WRONG))  
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**From:** "**I Won't Say I'm in Love": Disney's **_**Hercules**_

_If there's a prize for rotten judgment_

_I guess I've already won that_

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's ancient history, been there, done that!_

She had run away. From her job. Her home. From her family. From Him. Every time things got to complicated, she fled. Every time the truth of their relationship was about to come out, she left. Half the time she did not even know why she had fled. She didn't recognize the feelings then, she still does not now. She has been feeling them for so long that she doesn't remember what it feels like to be without them.

Does he feel the same? No. He has a wife and kids, priorities; a life where she is not included. She can't be around him anymore. She has to leave and go far, far away; somewhere where she would never have to think his name again. It would save them both so much trouble, and her so much pain.

_Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'_

_He's the Earth and heaven to you_

_Try to keep it hidden_

_Honey, we can see right through you_

_Girl, ya can't conceal it_

_We know how ya feel and_

_Who you're thinking of_

She couldn't just get up and flee again. Cragen would have her ass. They needed her on the team. She had a duty: to serve and protect. But she can't stand to be around Him.

She couldn't stand to be without him either.

John had caught her staring the other day, at Him. She pretended to be staring at the wall, but the smirk told her he knew. He knew. They all knew. But how could they know if she didn't even know what she was feeling?

What was she feeling?

Love?

_No chance, no way_

_I won't say it, no, no_

_You swoon, you sigh_

_why deny it, uh-oh_

_It's too cliche_

_I won't say I'm in love_

No. She couldn't be. They were partners. Friends. It ended there.

Partners with a job to do. Partners don't become lovers. Partners can't become lovers.

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

_It feels so good when you start out_

_My head is screaming get a grip, girl_

_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out_

After his divorce, they had become closer. Too close. She had liked it. Perhaps if she had realized what she was feeling earlier, he wouldn't have gone back. He wouldn't have gone back and destroyed her hopes.

_You keep on denying_

_Who you are and how you're feeling_

_Baby, we're not buying_

_Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling_

_Face it like a grown-up_

_When ya gonna own up_

_That ya got, got, got it bad_

She tried to suppress the emotion, but it wouldn't go away. It wouldn't go away, and still she tried to ignore it. But it would not disappear. Her love for Him would not disappear.

_WRONG: No chance, now way_

_I won't say it, no, no_

Her love for Him? Where did that come from? She cares about Him, yes, but love? No. Never. It can't be.

_Give up, give in_

_Check the grin you're in love_

_This scene won't play,_

_I won't say I'm in love_

_You're doin flips read our lips_

_You're in love_

His warm ice eyes drew her in. She could tell his every thought just by looking into those depths. Except for one. If only she could read that one emotion, she would know how He felt. If He felt the same about her as she about Him.

Her heart skipped a beat.

What if He did?

Another missed beat.

Would He tell her?

Would she tell Him?

_You're way off base_

_I won't say it_

_Get off my case_

_I won't say it_

No. He doesn't love her. She doesn't love Him. It is impossible. Unreal. Forbidden. Wrong.

_Girl, don't be proud_

_It's O.K. you're in love_

She has never loved someone before, so how could she possibly know if she does now? She has nothing to compare it to. She would have no one to go to. Everyone she knows is connected to her job. Her life is her job. Her life cannot deal with love. Her job cannot be connected to love.

But He is her job. Her life. Her love.

_Oh_

_At least out loud,_

_I won't say I'm in love_

She loves Him. He doesn't know it, but she loves Him.

Someday He will know.

Someday.

And when He does know…she won't run away.

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**Please R&R. Many thanks!**


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